After a long interval between posts, this one might end up being a rambler. I have three kids now, so it's excusable.
First things first, our little guy has officially been placed with us! We are now his foster parents. Our next step is to hire an attorney to begin the adoption process (and name him!! Although, we'll likely keep his first name). We will probably get a court date in September for adoption. This six month waiting period after placement is required because parents were giving their adopted children back. That just makes me sick... Come on people.
For those of you who don't know, it is literally free to adopt a child from the foster care system in the state of Arizona. In fact, we will get paid until our little guy turns 18 years old (probably just over $20/day since he is "medically fragile") and he will have state health insurance until that time as well. This was news to me.
While we're fostering him, we also get around $20/day. Even the attorney for the adoption is covered. This is just plain crazy. When we first considered this little boy "with all of those needs," we certainly didn't expect an amazingly smart, handsome boy who obeys (for the most part... he is two) and is very happy. You can't tell there's anything different about him unless you're very familiar with the exact physical capabilities of 2 year old. He should be able to run a little faster and has some weird reactions to sensory things and that's pretty much it. I would move mountains for this kid, so getting paid for my own child is a very strange feeling.
It also completely changes my view on "special needs" kids. I think there's this mental image of a child with special needs and it's basically synonomous with severe autism. It wasn't that I thought children with special needs didn't deserve a loving home, but I knew that I wasn't prepared to provide care with two other young children as well (it's very important to pray about and understand the needs of your family so you don't get in over your head). Now I realize that special needs can vary a huge amount, from meth exposed as an infant (with no mental or physical delays) on up. I'm so glad we didn't check the"no" box for all needs.
While I'm sure we're still transitioning, I finally feel like we have found our normal again. Bed time routines, eating, getting in the car... we have routines that make life easier. It's been hard transitioning to three kids. It's been really hard in a lot of ways, but boy are we in love. My biggest fear is that something will happen and they'll take him away before we can finalize the adoption.
Our little man really feels like a Wegert now. I feel like he's mine (Joseph said the same thing). I think something we all fear is being incapable of loving an adopted child like a biological one. Those fears were completely unfounded. It doesn't feel any different than my bio kids except that I'm thankful in a different way. With him, I'm thankful we found each other.
I was told by a friend the other day, that my posts make everything seem happy. That's good, right? In case you need reassurance, my home is not perfect nor are its residents residually happy. Nobody's life is! With 3 kids 4 and under, tantrums are not foreign ;-). But I wouldn't change our family for the world and I'm not going to blog about our failures. That's depressing lol.
So on a side note, I've gotten a lot of questions on random relatives coming out of the woodwork after adoption and taking the kid away from the adoptive parents. My understanding is that laws have changed and if family doesn't come forward during the appeals process, they have lost their chance. They will not be able to take the child after adoption.
Anything else? I'd love to hear any thoughts or questions. My biggest prayer is that our openness inspires others to adopt. We plan on having a big family, but even so, we can't take in all the kids who need homes. My heart breaks when I realize that I can't help them all. My body aches when I see people raising money for dogs and I know that a child is dying with a curable disease.
I want to encourage you to stretch your boundaries. It's not for everybody, but just because it is uncomfortable to think about it doesn't mean it's not for you. Pray. I'm begging you. Please just pray about it. There is a child who would be so lucky to have you cuddle them and hold them close. But even more than that, I guarantee that you will feel like the luckiest person alive the first time he calls you mommy or falls asleep rocking with you.
First things first, our little guy has officially been placed with us! We are now his foster parents. Our next step is to hire an attorney to begin the adoption process (and name him!! Although, we'll likely keep his first name). We will probably get a court date in September for adoption. This six month waiting period after placement is required because parents were giving their adopted children back. That just makes me sick... Come on people.
For those of you who don't know, it is literally free to adopt a child from the foster care system in the state of Arizona. In fact, we will get paid until our little guy turns 18 years old (probably just over $20/day since he is "medically fragile") and he will have state health insurance until that time as well. This was news to me.
While we're fostering him, we also get around $20/day. Even the attorney for the adoption is covered. This is just plain crazy. When we first considered this little boy "with all of those needs," we certainly didn't expect an amazingly smart, handsome boy who obeys (for the most part... he is two) and is very happy. You can't tell there's anything different about him unless you're very familiar with the exact physical capabilities of 2 year old. He should be able to run a little faster and has some weird reactions to sensory things and that's pretty much it. I would move mountains for this kid, so getting paid for my own child is a very strange feeling.
It also completely changes my view on "special needs" kids. I think there's this mental image of a child with special needs and it's basically synonomous with severe autism. It wasn't that I thought children with special needs didn't deserve a loving home, but I knew that I wasn't prepared to provide care with two other young children as well (it's very important to pray about and understand the needs of your family so you don't get in over your head). Now I realize that special needs can vary a huge amount, from meth exposed as an infant (with no mental or physical delays) on up. I'm so glad we didn't check the"no" box for all needs.
While I'm sure we're still transitioning, I finally feel like we have found our normal again. Bed time routines, eating, getting in the car... we have routines that make life easier. It's been hard transitioning to three kids. It's been really hard in a lot of ways, but boy are we in love. My biggest fear is that something will happen and they'll take him away before we can finalize the adoption.
I was told by a friend the other day, that my posts make everything seem happy. That's good, right? In case you need reassurance, my home is not perfect nor are its residents residually happy. Nobody's life is! With 3 kids 4 and under, tantrums are not foreign ;-). But I wouldn't change our family for the world and I'm not going to blog about our failures. That's depressing lol.
So on a side note, I've gotten a lot of questions on random relatives coming out of the woodwork after adoption and taking the kid away from the adoptive parents. My understanding is that laws have changed and if family doesn't come forward during the appeals process, they have lost their chance. They will not be able to take the child after adoption.
Anything else? I'd love to hear any thoughts or questions. My biggest prayer is that our openness inspires others to adopt. We plan on having a big family, but even so, we can't take in all the kids who need homes. My heart breaks when I realize that I can't help them all. My body aches when I see people raising money for dogs and I know that a child is dying with a curable disease.
I want to encourage you to stretch your boundaries. It's not for everybody, but just because it is uncomfortable to think about it doesn't mean it's not for you. Pray. I'm begging you. Please just pray about it. There is a child who would be so lucky to have you cuddle them and hold them close. But even more than that, I guarantee that you will feel like the luckiest person alive the first time he calls you mommy or falls asleep rocking with you.
No comments:
Post a Comment